The Week Of The Weddings
August 16-21, 2015
The first of my grandchildren to get married
Rajan Mudambi and Vaidehi Pidaparti
For weeks after
the announcement of the marriage between my grandson Rajan Mudambi and
Vaidehi Pidaparti I awaited the first of the two special days.
The
Indian Wedding in Bridgewater, New Jersey was first, followed
by the Civil Wedding on August 21st in Blue Bell, PA. What a week
this was.
Our grandchildren were fortunate to have grown up with four grandparents. something most of us do not experience. My dearest wife Kathleen died about a year and a half ago. I always felt that she and Rajan had a very special relationship. Rajan just seemed to bring out the best in her. She would have loved to have been there. I hope she was watching from above. Rajan's other grandmother, Sumati, died less than a month before the wedding. Even though his paternal grandparents lived in India the family was close and got together often. Both grandmothers were sorely missed. I had known Vaidehi for several years and knew she and Rajan were meant for each other.
Well before the Indian wedding I had been briefed on what would be going on during the ceremony. It would be about three hours long and would take place on a stage. The attendees might be wandering around in the room eating, watching and listening to the ceremony, and perhaps even leaving the room and returning. This was pretty much beyond my understanding and almost beyond my belief. But it turned out to be true.
Alan came up from Virginia and we drove to New Jersey together.
The Ceremony:
India is a large country with different traditions and rituals in the different areas. From what I understand, the uninitiated, such as I, might not necessarily notice the subtle differences.
.
With a casual glance the ceremony could almost be mistaken for a play. A very serious play where every action and spoken word had meaning. The chants and words were in Sanskrit, not English.
I wandered around
the room and several times went up
to the nearest person and asked what was going on, what is
happening? In every case the person, who I did not know, took the
time to explain not only what was happening but also why it was being
done and where it fit into the overall picture. While watching
and learning it was obvious that this was not a play but a
ceremony on the
way to a new life.
The clothing was beautiful and varied as both the bride and groom changed clothing several times. The ceremony was beautiful and meaningful. Many people took part from both families - parents, siblings, cousins, uncles, friends a real family affair
This is my impression of what went on.
An Indian wedding is meant to be more inclusive. It is not only two people deciding to join together to form a new life. It is the brides family inviting the groom's family to join together to form a new family unit. A very major event.
There were many essential rituals that had to be followed. The groom went through his on stage, while the bride was doing doing the same off stage.
During the ceremony the groom got cold feet and attempted to escape the wedding. He tried to leave and go to the Ganges River and to go live in the woods. His family went with him. The brides family, and maybe his own, talked to him and brought him back to his senses. It was explained to me that the bride was not to be on stage until after the groom got over his cold feet.
There were at least two more essential rituals that had to be completed before the marriage was official. One was called the Sumuhurtham. Here the bride and groom each prepared two pastes from cumin seeds and brown sugar, stuck them together and placed the result on the other's head, This was the major moment of the ceremony as they were then joined as the pastes could not be separated,
The other was a fire was built on the stage and they walked together around the fire seven times. One time for each of the seven things that tied their relationship together.
It was a beautiful, moving ceremony and I was honored to be there,
There were snacks served during the ceremony followed by a big lunch. It was known that I am not fond of Indian food, I was shocked when someone came up to me with a package of American food. How thoughtful could people be. Anyway before I ate Anand Mudambi asked if I would like a tour of the Temple, and I did, We walked up to the next floor and he gave me a wonderful tour of the beautiful large temple.
There were so many Gods represented in such beautiful surroundings. Anand was very patient and explained many rituals, Why the Gods were dressed and looked differently. Why some had white faces (from the north) and some black faces (from the south). A few had silver faces and they could have been from any where. I bet we were there nearly an hour. He told me zillions of things far far more than I will ever dream of remembering but I enjoyed every moment of the tour.
With my faulty name and face recognition I will not be able to put them together. I thought it was so good how every one I talked to was patient, understanding and helpful. I talked quite a while to the Host of the ceremony, Vai's uncle Prabhu, without knowing he was the host. I told him that later.
Before I went I wondered how I would get along in such a different environment. I need not have been concerned, It was just beautiful, The people were wonderful, the tour was great. Could hardly have been a better day,
Also thinking about the rituals later I realized we have many rituals also but really do not think of them as such It is just the way things are done. And ours to some extent vary depend on what part of the country we live in.
Looking forward to wedding II
Wedding II, the Civil Ceremony
This was in Blue Bell PA, at Mermaid Lake. To say that the two wedding were different would be an understatement.
Alan, his wife Suzanne and daughter Cady came and stayed at my house and we went to the wedding and the other events.
This was an eating event. Food the day before, right afterwards and the next day. The hall was decorated by volunteers with many from Susan's family. A long white covering led up to the stage. There were eight little flower vases at the end of the covering to add beauty and to hold the lining down. On the stage a well lit arch was erected.
Vaidehi walked up the aisle with her mother, Manga,
and met Rajan
under
the arch. Jay handed the rings to Rajan. The
ceremony was brief lasting maybe 15-20 minutes. The bride and groom had
each written their own vows, and did them well. The ceremony was
performed by their friend Kevin.
Afterwards the celebration. In the hall there was plenty of food and also recreation facilities. Lets see, a dance floor, swimming pool, Ping Pong table and a volleyball court. I did not see any volleyball played but the others were well used. I mostly watched the dancing. Hard to recall any event that I have seen where there was more energy spent than on that dance floor. I do not know what dancing style was featured but the wild enthusiasm was clearly there, and they danced forever.
I ate a lot of food, much of it the fancy deserts, not that I like sweets, though.
As you can tell they were completely different ceremonies. But somehow, in a way, seemed similar. Together they worked to help join the couple and their families.
Just remember this story is like historical fiction in that it illustrates my impressions of what was going on at the two ceremonies. Others might get different impressions.
Our grandchildren were fortunate to have grown up with four grandparents. something most of us do not experience. My dearest wife Kathleen died about a year and a half ago. I always felt that she and Rajan had a very special relationship. Rajan just seemed to bring out the best in her. She would have loved to have been there. I hope she was watching from above. Rajan's other grandmother, Sumati, died less than a month before the wedding. Even though his paternal grandparents lived in India the family was close and got together often. Both grandmothers were sorely missed. I had known Vaidehi for several years and knew she and Rajan were meant for each other.
Well before the Indian wedding I had been briefed on what would be going on during the ceremony. It would be about three hours long and would take place on a stage. The attendees might be wandering around in the room eating, watching and listening to the ceremony, and perhaps even leaving the room and returning. This was pretty much beyond my understanding and almost beyond my belief. But it turned out to be true.
Alan came up from Virginia and we drove to New Jersey together.
The Ceremony:
India is a large country with different traditions and rituals in the different areas. From what I understand, the uninitiated, such as I, might not necessarily notice the subtle differences.
.
With a casual glance the ceremony could almost be mistaken for a play. A very serious play where every action and spoken word had meaning. The chants and words were in Sanskrit, not English.
I wandered around
the room and several times went up
to the nearest person and asked what was going on, what is
happening? In every case the person, who I did not know, took the
time to explain not only what was happening but also why it was being
done and where it fit into the overall picture. While watching
and learning it was obvious that this was not a play but a
ceremony on the
way to a new life. The clothing was beautiful and varied as both the bride and groom changed clothing several times. The ceremony was beautiful and meaningful. Many people took part from both families - parents, siblings, cousins, uncles, friends a real family affair
This is my impression of what went on.
An Indian wedding is meant to be more inclusive. It is not only two people deciding to join together to form a new life. It is the brides family inviting the groom's family to join together to form a new family unit. A very major event.
There were many essential rituals that had to be followed. The groom went through his on stage, while the bride was doing doing the same off stage.
During the ceremony the groom got cold feet and attempted to escape the wedding. He tried to leave and go to the Ganges River and to go live in the woods. His family went with him. The brides family, and maybe his own, talked to him and brought him back to his senses. It was explained to me that the bride was not to be on stage until after the groom got over his cold feet.
There were at least two more essential rituals that had to be completed before the marriage was official. One was called the Sumuhurtham. Here the bride and groom each prepared two pastes from cumin seeds and brown sugar, stuck them together and placed the result on the other's head, This was the major moment of the ceremony as they were then joined as the pastes could not be separated,
The other was a fire was built on the stage and they walked together around the fire seven times. One time for each of the seven things that tied their relationship together.
It was a beautiful, moving ceremony and I was honored to be there,
There were snacks served during the ceremony followed by a big lunch. It was known that I am not fond of Indian food, I was shocked when someone came up to me with a package of American food. How thoughtful could people be. Anyway before I ate Anand Mudambi asked if I would like a tour of the Temple, and I did, We walked up to the next floor and he gave me a wonderful tour of the beautiful large temple.
There were so many Gods represented in such beautiful surroundings. Anand was very patient and explained many rituals, Why the Gods were dressed and looked differently. Why some had white faces (from the north) and some black faces (from the south). A few had silver faces and they could have been from any where. I bet we were there nearly an hour. He told me zillions of things far far more than I will ever dream of remembering but I enjoyed every moment of the tour.
With my faulty name and face recognition I will not be able to put them together. I thought it was so good how every one I talked to was patient, understanding and helpful. I talked quite a while to the Host of the ceremony, Vai's uncle Prabhu, without knowing he was the host. I told him that later.
Before I went I wondered how I would get along in such a different environment. I need not have been concerned, It was just beautiful, The people were wonderful, the tour was great. Could hardly have been a better day,
Also thinking about the rituals later I realized we have many rituals also but really do not think of them as such It is just the way things are done. And ours to some extent vary depend on what part of the country we live in.
Looking forward to wedding II
Wedding II, the Civil Ceremony
This was in Blue Bell PA, at Mermaid Lake. To say that the two wedding were different would be an understatement.
Alan, his wife Suzanne and daughter Cady came and stayed at my house and we went to the wedding and the other events.
This was an eating event. Food the day before, right afterwards and the next day. The hall was decorated by volunteers with many from Susan's family. A long white covering led up to the stage. There were eight little flower vases at the end of the covering to add beauty and to hold the lining down. On the stage a well lit arch was erected.
Vaidehi walked up the aisle with her mother, Manga,
and met Rajan
under
the arch. Jay handed the rings to Rajan. The
ceremony was brief lasting maybe 15-20 minutes. The bride and groom had
each written their own vows, and did them well. The ceremony was
performed by their friend Kevin.Afterwards the celebration. In the hall there was plenty of food and also recreation facilities. Lets see, a dance floor, swimming pool, Ping Pong table and a volleyball court. I did not see any volleyball played but the others were well used. I mostly watched the dancing. Hard to recall any event that I have seen where there was more energy spent than on that dance floor. I do not know what dancing style was featured but the wild enthusiasm was clearly there, and they danced forever.
I ate a lot of food, much of it the fancy deserts, not that I like sweets, though.
As you can tell they were completely different ceremonies. But somehow, in a way, seemed similar. Together they worked to help join the couple and their families.
Just remember this story is like historical fiction in that it illustrates my impressions of what was going on at the two ceremonies. Others might get different impressions.