The Morning of November 13, 2012

While I in the living room I heard a very loud noise from the kitchen. I yelled to Kathleen, "What fell".  She yelled back, "I did, come help me !!".  She had tripped over a dish washing soap container and fell on her right side against the stove and cupboards. The back of her head hit a projecting corner of the pantry and was bleeding profusely.  This fall  was completely unexpected as we felt we had done everything possible to leave nothing in the house that we could trip over. 

We had no idea at that time that, even though there were many good times thereafter, her life was never quite the same.

The EMS station is only 1/4 mile from our house so I called 911 and they were here within minutes. She was taken to the Pottstown Memorial Medical Center (PMMC} ER.  She had all the tests, blood work, cat scan, x-rays and who knows what else and was admitted to PMMC for two nights. 

The test results had shown no breaks but erratic thyroid results.  She was weak and a little wobbly. In answer to a question I said she had been slightly light headed the day before.  Even though we kept saying over and over again that she was fully alert when she fell we were never able to get it out of her chart that she fell because she fainted.  Two or three specialists came into her room over the next two days and asked how long she was unconscious after she fell.  After we explained that she never was, they left with no further comment.

 After discharge we stopped by the family doctor to pick up a prescription.  She nearly collapsed in the waiting room.  Our doctor sent her back to the PMMC ER where they redid some tests and sent her home again.  Their diagnosis was to wear an Event Heart Monitor to get additional information. 

We went to a cardiologist and he instead diagnosed low blood pressure. I pointed out that for two days I watched her monitor and at no time did her BP drop below 125 and was usually around 155.  She had been having her blood pressure checked regularly for years with never a hint of low pressure. That information did not change his diagnosis. 

He prescribed two medications. One to raise her blood pressure and a narcotic pain pill. she was told to eat more salt. She took only one of the blood pressure pills one of the pain pills. She vomited after the pain pill and decided not to take any more of them.  To ensure that, she attempted to throw them away but in error disposed of the blood pressure medication. Her family doctor prescribed alternate pain medication but for some reason the first medication never got off her chart.

We went to our daughter's for Thanksgiving, always a good day.  A few days later her pain returned and eating problems got worse.  Were these connected?

We took her to Einstein (EMCM) ER on November 28th, a more convenient Medical Center, looking for a solution to these problems.  They could not get her to eat or drink anything in a reasonable time span.  She said she felt fine, but just could not eat.  As often hapapens her back pain  was intermittent. It would not show up for a while, then be severe.

In mid 2005 she had a very scary period health wise. She was  listless, unresponsive, no emotion, losing weight. This proved to be a thyroid problem.  After stabilization, which took a while, she returned to normal.  In many ways she seemed to be there again.  There was so many things going on with her that a repeat of thyroid diagnosis was not quickly made. The erratic thyroid results were explained away but eventually returned to. 

I do not know why the 2005 thyroid problem reoccurred. In case it was because of improperly taking her medication I changed the medication procedure for both of us. Perhaps to what we should have been doing from the start. We continued using those seven day containers but made a space for them on the kitchen counter.  If the medicine was taken for the day that section was left open, if not taken it was still closed.  Thus either of us could tell at a glance if we were taking our medicine properly.

The next few doctor appointments were with her family doctor. He had corrected her thyroid condition back in 2005.  This proved to take several weeks as it was not wise to radically change the medication, but to gradually approach the correct dosage. I did get her, with her full cooperation, to start drinking Ensure and Boost and nibbling on energy bars as she realized she had to do something.  

On December 3, 2012 we returned to the EMCM ER primarily because of severe back pain. They redid tests and discovered a back displacement fracture.  She was admitted. After a few days they suggested that she go to a Rehab Nursing Facility and return to EMCM as an out-patient to undergo Vertebroplasty of thoracic vertebra T8 to fix her back. This involved inserting a needle, while watching on an screen, and inserting cement into her spine to repair her break.  This was supposed to immediately stop the back pain thus getting her off the pain medication including the elusive medication that was inadvertently left on her chart. She entered the nursing home/rehab center on December 6, 2012.

The morning the procedure was scheduled Susan and I went to EMCM and there was no Kathleen.  She had not arrived at the hospital. It seems that the nursing home had not stopped her aspirin thus the procedure was canceled and rescheduled for December 14, 2012. This time all went well and her back pain was greatly reduced.  The procedure worked!!

With the thyroid and back pain under control almost by magic Kathleen started to return to being herself. Our son Alan described it a "Getting her personality back".

 Back at the rehab nursing home they took good care of her and she regained enough strength to return home on December 21st.

There is no way to describe how our children and I felt before she started to return to herself.  at times she had been almost a zombie in thought and action. The overall improvement was gradual.  Her  gained weight, had more energy and was able to do a lot more around the house. 

She had to reduce or even relinquish some of her volunteer commitments.  On the surface she seemed to be OK, but even though she was more cheerful and could go about her day to day activities she never fully recovered. 

Around April she and I returned to Ohio so she could be honored as a Past President  of The Children's Concert society (CCS) and to go to a service at St. Marks in Wadsworth, OH. soon after we moved to Wadsworth we helped found St. Marks so the church had a lot of meaning to us. Everyone at both places treated her as Queen Of The World, as she deserved. They knew ahead of time that she was having difficulty.

She only seemed to remember people and events that she was very close to.  For instance she knew almost everyone from St. Marks and St. James here in Collegeville but did not remember the names from (CCS) in Akron, OH where she interacted with the members less frequently.  I think we both were a little scared to take that trip as we had no idea how she would handle the drive and interact with so many people that she had not seen for a while. She loved the trip and  I am convinced that nothing could have been better for her.

She had lost much of her ability to plan and design. She had to relearn certain tasks but did that quickly and graciously. I believe that she was generally happy and got along pretty well.  She went to church and breakfast afterwards with the Breakfast Club women.  Took some part in helping with Trappe Community Day as co-chairperson.  She frequently went to my bridge club and talked some with some of the players.  She did enjoy getting out of the house and being with her friends and family.

Many of our family celebrated Thanksgiving 2013 at Susan's. We had our normal great Thanksgiving Day dinner.  While Kathleen was friendly, she did not take her normal active role in the activities

On about December 1, 2013  she woke up full of enthusiasm.  Looking for something to do.  I was playing with redoing the display of glassware in the dining room and she took over rearranging two of the shelves. She did a great job and she and I were so pleased at what she had accomplished.  Those shelves have not been touched since.  Our spirits and hopes were high

On December 5th she had a massive stroke and died in the Hospice at Einstein on the evening of December 7. 

There are flaws in this document. Some important items have been inadvertently omitted. In spite of all the thought it is clear that some events, diagnosis, treatment and other things are not in the correct time sequence.  It is likely that some descriptions are not accurate. As important as these months were everything should have been locked in my memory, but that does not seem to be so.  Even so, I do believe this story does give a reasonable picture of the times.

At some tim we spent two or three wonderful days in Cambridge, MA with Grandson Rajan and Vaidehi.  She really enjoyed that trip and it really helped her.  There is a photo in the dining room commemorating that visit.  She was in the ER on 1/4/2013 but I do not remember why.

In the summer of 2015 a Breakfast Club area was set up at St. James Collegeville inspired by her and a couple other members.  In the summer of 2015 the Borough of Trappe planted a 14' Sugar Gum Tree at Rambo Park in her memory.  She spent hundreds of hours helping get the  park planned, designed and dedicated.  At the first Trappe Borough meeting after her death the mayor, President of Council and several others talked about all that she had done  for the community. 

She was the best possible wife for me, the best possible mother and grandmother, and  believed in doing her best to help make life better for all im our community. Grandson Rajan has a short list of people that he knows everyone likes. She is on that list. That alone says a lot.

She was Special and remains with us in our hearts.