Who Was Kathleen Minnie Nitz McDowell
How is she remembered? What kind of person was she? Like everyone else she was many people all in one.
All of Kathleen's attributes contributed to her being who she was. Her genuine caring for others. Her organizational ability. Her knack of getting people to work together. Her drive to get things done and to improve all of our lives. Most of all she was a kind, enthusiastic, caring person who fought and strived to achieve her goals while at the same time bettering the lives of others. I wish more of us were like her.
Looking at the comments written and spoken after her untimely death on December 7, 2013 it is clear how most people felt about Kathleen. They said she was gentle, kind, and helpful. She really cared for other people. She was always active in the community doing what she could to make things better. I agree with all of those comments, but I saw far more than that.
I first met her in September 1948 in our psychology class at Buchtel High School, Akron , Ohio. I was seated across the room from her and next to two of her close girl friends with whom she remained life-long friends. She saw the three of us talking, took a liking to me, and went to the teacher, Mr. Maxwell, and asked to be moved to a seat next to me. Even though I did not recognize it at the time this was my first example of her taking action to get what she wanted. Without that move we would never have gotten together. I took that class just to fill out my last semester schedule. Our meeting was chance times two.
I was very slow and it took four months before we started dating. I did not know she had asked her seat to be changed, I did not know that she told her friends in conversation and in the high school year book that she and I would marry. Of course we did marry six and a half years later. Coincidentally, ten years to the day from our first date, our daughter Susan was born.
This long introduction is meant to make a very important point. Kathleen was a doer, not just a talker. When she got an idea, or thought of a goal in life, she went after it full speed ahead. She was willing, no eager, to accept a new thought and make it hers. When she got involved with something she made every effort to make the best of it. That is the theme for the rest of this story.
Kathleen came from a large, blue collar family. She had three brothers, two sisters and two grandparents all living together.
In one of our many conversations we talked about how important college was to me. The thought of college helped light a fire in her. She decided she was going to college and become an elementary school teacher. She changed her course selection and set out on a scary journey into the unknown. A year later she entered Kent State University to get a degree in elementary education. At that time none of her family had even considered going to college. Her younger brother has said that neither he or his son would have gone on to graduate with teaching degrees if Kathleen had not led the way.
When there was no money available she took a bus daily between Akron and Kent. When possible she did board in Kent to get the whole university experience. She worked all four years. Her family helped when they could.
Kathleen was very active at Kent State. She joined Kappa Phi and became a leader. She remained active in Kappa Phi and kept those strong friendships for her entire life. She was a Kappa Phi representative to state and national conventions.
After graduation she taught school for a year and repaid the money her parents had given her. She taught about 28 years spreading her love of learning to hundreds of fortunate children. The comments I have read from students and parents combined with her evaluations showed what a good teacher she was. She also took many post graduate classes to get even better.
I entered the army in November 1953 and was an instructor at The Artillery School at Fort Sill, OK. In April of 1955 I telephoned Kathleen and asked her to marry me. She said yes, to my enjoyment. We talked about when. I expressed a desire to marry soon and she loved that idea. Since I could not get leave during an eight week class the only times available were the weekend of July 16th or after I left the army in November. We both voted for July 16th. I mailed both the engagement ring and the wedding ring to her and her father put the ring on her finger for me.
I drove to Akron arriving on the July 14. Together we managed to get our marriage license and my wedding outfit.
We had a lovely wedding and a reception at her parents house. Obviously I was of little or no help in this planning. The wedding and engagement plans are included here to show that she was happy to do what was necessary to accomplish what we both desired. After the reception we started the 1,200 mile drive back to Fort Sill.
I still had four months left in the army. She volunteered at the Fort Sill Army Hospital and enjoyed lt. Of course this was suggested by the high officer's wives group. Kay always mentioned that almost the first morning there the colonel's wife called to 'suggest' volunteering.
She met my new friends. We explored Oklahoma and Dallas, TX We cemented our relationship as a couple far from our families, friends in a total new environment. This was a wonderful experience.
We took our honeymoon driving back to Ohio. We saw the Alamo, visited New Orleans, drove along the Gulf, and spent a few days in Fort Lauderdale, FL Then the long drive to Wadsworth, Ohio where we started our civilian lives together.
Kathleen led a full, active life. She was a happy person doing the things she loved. She was a wonderful wife and mother. She had many long lasting friends. Yet she still had the energy and time to have a life full of community service and activities. Here are some of her activities.
Kathleen soon obtained a teaching position with Wadsworth City Schools. As mentioned before, this was the perfect occupation for her, as she knew it would be. She worked part-time before Alan and Susan started school.
St. Mark's Episcopal church was just beginning to form and was meeting in the Wadsworth Senior Center. We were founding members. The church soon bought the 150 year old Mennonite church building and started to grow. Kathleen was very active. She started the Episcopal Church Women (ECW) chapter and was also active at the diocesees-ECW level.
Due to an emergency resignation I was asked to be the church treasurer. Without her active support I would probably not have said yes. I kept that position for about four years. For the next ten years Kathleen took that helm. She was better than I in working with the vestry. We were a good team, I did the books and she did a great job as treasurer.
Most of the time at St. Marks she was an active vestry member who contributed new thoughts and actions. She started and coordinated a soup kitchen in cooperation with the Salvation Army to furnish meals for one day of the last week of each month. Four other churches did the other days. She was an officer or member in the dioceses Deanery, a group of Episcopal churches in NE Ohio that coordinated the charitable activities.
One year Kathleen took her class to a concert at E. J. Thomas Hall in Akron, Ohio sponsored by the Children's Concert Society (CCS). Members of the CCS board were so impressed on how she helped her class that they invited her to join the board.
CCS in Akron, Ohio is a long running organization (now 66+ years) dedicated to giving children in the area an early opportunity to learn about the performing arts. This is a large organization with a high budget. CCS introduces thousands of elementary school children every year to classical-performing events at E. J. Thomas Hall like the symphony, opera, and professional dancing. These events were designed for the children. For example the symphony orchestra would often demonstrate each of the instruments so the children would know what sounds emanated from them. The other performers, opera and dancing did similar things. For many this was their first contact with a "classical performance". It was fascinating watching the young children's genuine interest in what they were seeing and hearing.
CCS also sponsored composing contests at every grade level, K-12, with all the winners participating in a concert of their own. A few of the winners went on to careers in music. There here also in-school performances where concerts were performed at various elementary schools in Akron. Kathleen and I attended some of those and they were very well received by the children and teachers.
Kathleen served a two year term as president of the CCS. This was during a difficult time as there was dissension among the board members. Here she demonstrated her strong capabilities of getting people to work together and to forget their animosity and work for the common good. She hired a new Executive Director, who is still there. CCS rebounded as an organization dedicated to helping the children and has prospered ever since.
For a combined 25 years we volunteered at The EJTH and the renovated 1927 Civic Theater. We both were surprised at what events we preferred. It was a learning experience. The variety covered almost everything you could imagine. Opera, symphony, Broadway plays, Country, and deafening performances where the marijuana fragrance was pronounced.
Kathleen was open to new challenges that came a surprise to me. For example she was a member representative for the Selective Service. Fortunately no draft came into being.
While Kathleen, Alan and I were on vacation we went white water rafting, my idea, we hit a stretch of very turbulent water. I was tossed from the raft and Kathleen broke a bone in her knee. During her recuperation we learned that our house was not suitable for anyone with a physical problem. We knew that we needed to move to a house where it was possible to live on one floor.
Since we were both retired, where to move soon expanded outside of Wadsworth and Ohio. I had the idea to move to a warm climate. I talked to her about how wonderful that would be as neither of us are winter outdoors persons. She countered that being close to family was even better. As was often the case, she was correct. We moved to Trappe, PA in May 2004 near to our daughter and grandchildren.
For a few months, except for joining St. James Episcopal Church Kathleen was not an active volunteer. She did work at the church's Outreach Program. Between outreach and the church services she made many friends, and she helped me get involved. At many St. James fundraising dinner events we sold tickets, collected money and chatted with everyone coming in the door. We were also active in the over 50 group that met for lunch and activities several times a year.
Kathleen attended almost all the Trappe Borough Council meetings. She met and talked to all of the local politicians, the mayor and borough managers. Then she got active. She was a committee member and then for several years co-chair of the Trappe Community Day, a free all day festival. She was a very active member in the open space committee and helped establish Rambo Park. Kathleen was the Trappe Borough representative on the committee that obtained new playground equipment for Waterworks Park, a Collegeville-Trappe managed park.
She was a member of the critically important Trappe Zoning and Hearing board.
She earned the respect of both political factions in Trappe. Not an easy accomplishment.
She joined Collegeville Community Club, an organization that did charitable work in the area, and served as a committee chair almost every year.
Kathlen was honored at the first Trappe Borough council meeting after her death. The mayor, president of council and several in the audience talked about
how valuable she
was to her community. The
President of council, for example. said she a voracious fund raiser
and maybe could have funded a new fire station all by her self.
This did get
a
good laugh through the tears.<<<< This Sugar-Gum tree was planted by Trappe Borough in her honor with thanks for all she did to help make the borough better,
There were other activities, but the theme is clear. where ever she lived she made a difference. she got involved and worked to improve the quality of life in the community. She was just as active in Trappe, PA as she was in Ohio. As you may have noticed her activities after the move were very different from before. She adapted very well to be of service in a different environment. Another strong point in her favor.
As you can see the variety of activities during her life time was extensive and varied. She was interested in everything. Let us not forget her enthusiasm. When something went right she knew how to celebrate. In effect she brought out the pompoms and jumped for joy. I was always great to see her express how she felt about what was going on in her life.
Beyond all of her community service her most important task was her hardest, mainly her husband. She did her best with what she had to work with. She introduced him to new foods and new thoughts. She tried to moderate his parenting style as he was too rule oriented. She tried to smooth his rough edges. She taught him a lot but needed a few more years to complete the job.
Gradually over the last couple years she understood that she could not do everything she had done before. She cheerfully did what she could and ceded her other tasks to others, She might get a little frustrated at times but she never gave up. She remained true to her values of the importance of family, friendship and community.
She was Kathleen, wife, mother, grandmother and a friend to all. She made the world better and happier with her genuine caring for others. Her organizational ability. Her being able to get people to work together. Her drive to get things done and to improve all of our lives.
She is missed.
Four months have now passed. I am looking back at our lives together. How much she is missed. I have thought a lot about the so called little things. Especially about the many hours we just talked about our days, the things we saw, the things we did and what we planned to do in the future.
The week or so before she had her stroke were the best days she had had in many months. We were so looking forward to enjoying what the future had for us. Then came the morning of December Fifth. Nothing in my world could have been worse.
For the many years I am not sure that I realized how big a role she played in my enjoyment of the world. How she managed to make my life better by guiding me into a better path when it was needed. I sure understand that now. I miss her. Nothing is as much fun as it was when she was with me.